Posted to Medium on November 23, 2020
When I was a teen, I was intent on finding my soulmate. All of the Disney princesses and teen stars had done it. Why couldn’t I? Yes, Disney truly raised me. I needed my soulmate. I would only be complete with my soulmate. Wherever he was, I was going to find him.
So, I resorted to those fun online quizzes when I was bored and desperate for answers. What are the initials of your soulmate? At what age will you meet your soulmate? How will you meet them? Do you know my answer? Back in 2008, the internet gave me the utmost worst answer to how I would meet the love of my life. Online. I was furious. No! That’s how old people meet each other when they’ve given up on going out in public. No way. Not possible! (Remember, '08. Wayyy before online dating became the norm. I'm old.)
Cut to — last May. You know how we’re in this pandemic? Right, you haven’t forgotten? Good. (Some people have.) Well, I was unemployed living on my couch watching Gilmore girls for the umpteenth time when my roommate tells me she’s going on a date, a facetime date with a guy from a dating app. What?? She explained how she’s felt cut off from the world, as we all have, without any form of human connection at all (except me) and it helps pass the time. I found it odd. There would be absolutely no promise of meeting in person, which I find is the only real way to tell if a date is going well, and yet, she wasn’t the only one. Social media suddenly filled with couples coupling, moving in together, getting married, etc. etc. I was out of my mind confused. How is this happening?? Why?? We’re in a pandemic!
Then, it occured to me. The pressure is completely off. If I don’t want to meet someone in person, all I have to say is “Pandemic. Goodbye!” It’s like a 2020 Irish-goodbye. I don’t have to impress anyone. I can just be me. I don’t have to put on any airs at all, since I’m not going to be meeting any of these people anyway. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to just chat with some people, see how their quarantine is going, and maybe make a few socially-distanced friends along the way! What’s the harm?
Right. So, I hopped on Hinge. The dating app designed to be deleted. Yes, that is their slogan and a good one at that. I have since deleted it. Why, you ask? Fantastic question. Really. I can tell you were an A+ student. Well, I have a boyfriend. What?? I know, you’re as shocked as I am. I haven’t had a boyfriend in over three years and I definitely hadn’t planned on snatching up one during a pandemic. We met on Hinge in May and we haven’t stopped talking since.
Now, it’s been a few months and I’m not saying those 100% accurate internet quizzes were right about me finding my soulmate on the internet. Who knows, there’s still time for him to be an axe murderer. I will say however, it was the absolute perfect time for me to meet him. I hadn’t dated anyone in about a year, not for swearing off men or anything like that — I was simply working on myself. (Yes, the cliché of dating oneself, self-love, and all that.)
Additionally, I wasn’t in any desperate need to be with anyone. I hadn’t been with anyone in over a year and honestly, I hadn’t even noticed a year went by. I was no longer 16-years-old singing Celine Dion's The Power of Love in my bedroom hoping the love of my life would just barge in and sing a duet with me. I was 28 and perfectly content with my life (minus that pesky pandemic). However, with the pandemic, things came up (as I’m sure they have for you too) that I wanted to put focus on.
The pandemic put me in a frame of mind where all I could think about was — how can I make this better? What can I do with my unemployed time? I started writing more. I started working out every single day — boosting those endorphins so that the pandepression wouldn’t settle in. I also started therapy, which has just been the biggest life saver of all. (Seriously, you should try it.)I had already been working on myself the past year and then this quarantine put that into overdrive! Within six months of the quarantine, I was in the best shape of my life physically and mentally and I found a new job and I found a partner to share it all with. (Insert heart eyes emoji here.)
Now, as romantic as it might be to say — Oh, our eyes met across the room… blah blah blah… I’m not feeling any kind of judgment about how we met. There was literally a pandemic. If I had met him across the room, we both might have had the ‘rona and then we’d be SOL. So, I told you all that to tell you this. Sometimes, you meet someone totally and completely unexpectedly. Sometimes, the internet is right. Sometimes, the universe (or God or whoever) allows space for you to do everything you can to be the best you can be and then, rewards you for it. I wasn’t trying. I wasn’t looking. And then, there he was. He has been the perfect gift. It only took about a dozen years.
So, I didn’t mean to just sit here and brag about my life to you. Things are going well, but I still have things to work on. Just, now I have someone to help me with those things. He’s working on himself too — but he’s perfection, so he can slow down on that. What I wanted to get across to you is — work on you. Fall in love with you. Be your own soulmate. You (probably) have some time on your hands and what better way to spend it? Think about what you want your life to look like. Romanticize your life and the little things. That first sip of coffee in the morning. That last stretch before hitting the pillow. Now is the time. Maybe you’ll be rewarded for all this work you’re doing on you. Maybe the reward is in the work. But, do it for you.